it's happening.

In 2008 I took my first trip to Haiti. While I was there my heart shattered into a million pieces. Needless to say, it hasn't healed. Since my first trip, Haiti is literally all that I think about. When I go to the mall I think about what it would be like for a Haitian to see something so extravagant. When I lay in my soft and warm bed at night I wonder why God chose me to be born in America and not in a slum in some third world country. And at church on Sunday mornings I think about how the Haitians are worshipping that morning and I'm in awe that we are worshipping the exact same God although it seems we are in completely different worlds.

Because Haiti is all that I think about, I literally have had days that I just can't function. I cry because my heart is broken and I'm homesick for a country that God has laid so heavily on my heart. Since my first trip I have schemed ways to get back. I've been so impatient, and sometimes frustrated with God for not allowing me back sooner. Through all of that, I have learned that God has absolutely perfect timing. He totally knows what He's doing, and He knows when He's doing it...and when He's ready, He will fill us in on His perfect plan.

I'm so excited to share with you guys that God is sending me to Haiti! My mind is absolutely blown. I'm so humbled to think that the Creator of the Universe actually wants to use me, a terrible sinner who doesn't deserve anything, to help further His Kingdom here on earth. I don't think that it's anything that I will ever get used to.

I've been looking forward to writing this blog post for 3 years. It's been a long time coming, and I wish that I could tell you exactly what I'm doing and when I'm doing it...but I just don't know yet. I was accepted as a staff member with the YWAM base in St. Marc, Haiti. It's 2 hours north of Port-au-Prince. I've never been that far south into the island, so this will be very new to me! I was going to wait to share that I was moving to Haiti until I knew all of the details, but then I decided that I couldn't figure it all out on my own. Some of you have been praying for me since the very beginning 3 years ago, and I would be so thankful for more prayers as I work to figure out when exactly I should go. I'm currently leaning toward the first of the year. Completing another semester of college and spending the holidays with my family is important to me but if God asked me to move to Haiti tomorrow, I absolutely would! :)

I will share more details as I get them. There is so much to do to prepare for a life in Haiti: physically, emotionally and especially spiritually. Although Haiti is where I want to be, I have a lot that I need to let go of here in America.

I covet your prayers not only for me, but for my friends and family as well. This is huge, it's exactly what I've been working toward, but that doesn't mean that I'm not a little bit freaked out.

There is no way that I would be where I am today if I hadn't had people like you who were supportive, encouraging, and were coming alongside of me in prayer. There aren't words to express how thankful I am for each and every word of encouragement, prayer, or support that I have received the past few years. THANK YOU!

A couple of days before I got accepted I was praying and I came across a verse that hit me especially hard.

"I expect and hope that I will not fail Christ in anything but that I will have the courage now, as always, to show the greatness of Christ in my life here on earth, whether I live or die." Philippians 1:20

I don't know what God has in store for my time in Haiti, but I'm excited and praying that I have the courage to set aside the things of this world that I'm clinging to, that each day as I prepare for my time in Haiti I remember to lay down my life and pick up my cross, and that I don't forget why I was placed here on earth.