To start out with, the first person I dealt with in America was the Customs Officer, and that wouldn't be a good way to start out any ones day. I think it's in their job description to be rude to people who are entering back into the United States of America. I think they should be cheerful and welcome you back to the "land of the free" but obviously they don't think so. And it's pretty much gone downhill from there, of course I was thrilled to see my family and friends, but getting back into the drift of stuff hasn't been fun. With the economy like it is there are a lot of Americans who are living in "poverty". And that's just about all I have heard about since I have gotten back, and it gets old REALLY fast! Listening to people talk about fellow Americans living in "poverty" and not being able to afford their Starbucks everyday and having to give up their homes that were way to big for them to start out with. I don't think that Americans even know what poverty is, I just want to tell them to go to Haiti, and if they can't make it to Haiti get on one of their stupid iPhones and look up a picture, read the news articles about the people having to make dirt cookies to stop the hunger pangs in their stomachs and having to hike for who knows how long to get a drink of clean, safe water. Americans are so sheltered, and I hate it.
My first trip to Haiti was amazing, it was so life changing and it was only 3 months ago. I thought that I had changed the way I lived after that trip, and I might have...for a little while...because going back to Haiti I still felt like a horrible selfish American! It's amazing how much you slip and don't even realize it. Now that I am back and I am trying to change the way I live I'm looking back and thinking, "wait I thought I already changed this?" and realizing how easy it is to slip back to the old person that I was.
This past trip was most definitely the best so far. It changed me a lot, I think because on this trip I was able to establish relationships with people, but on the last trip we just met people and were on our way. Most of the people on the team I was on played with the younger kids and the older girls...which left the older boys for me to hang out with! And I was totally okay with that, I learned some pretty sweet soccer tricks and attempted to play a game of basketball with them. We had some really great talks about life and Jesus, it was like they were part of my family for those days because we were constantly together. One of my favorite things we did together was eat a "Haitian meal", that was one of the most amazing experiences ever, and I wish that I could to it again someday. Just being in the atmosphere with all of them, the ducks and dogs at your feet trying to get your food, and the flies. Most people would not want to have anything to do with it, but honestly, every time I eat now I think about it and how awesome it would be to do it again!
I think that in Haiti I'm in my comfort zone, I feel so safe in Haiti, even walking down the road with the people, I feel safer doing that than I do walking around the square in downtown Greencastle. I get all paranoid when I get in my car after dark by myself but I sat out on the front porch of the dorm when it was pitch black out. I don't get embarrassed about talking about Jesus while I'm in Haiti, but I get all flustered when I just say his name in America. How lame is that? It took everything I had the other day to walk into Kroger with my "Do Something for Jesus" purse and I almost threw up when I told the guy at McDonalds "God bless you". But I was just fine in Haiti.
In Haiti they are so open with Jesus and all that He has done for them, I'm so jealous of their Faith. The Haitians have nothing but they praise Jesus like they have everything. Maybe this is just my American way, but if I lived in Haiti and I had what they have I honestly don't think I would praise Jesus the way that they do, I would wonder why I live in such poverty. And then I think about my life here in America I have everything, but it seems like the only time I praise Jesus is when everything is going well, or the only time I trust Him with everything is when I want/need something. And that's one of the big things that I am working on changing.
I miss all of the people I made friends with while I was in Haiti, I miss the talks I had with Frantz about Jesus and life, and I miss learning Creole. I miss being so open with my Faith and I miss sitting down every night and talking about what God did in my life that day. I miss Don and Karen and Abbie and Vero and Betsy. I even miss the roosters crowing every night all night because that was always a confirmation that I really was in Haiti. This trip taught me a lot, it's all I have thought about since I got back, I constantly find myself thinking about what I was doing this time last week or what I would be doing right now if I was in Haiti.
I guess that's all for now, I'm so ready to be back in Haiti serving alongside my brothers and sisters in Christ so that people are reached and we can one day change Haiti from a Mission field to a Mission force!!
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of this earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
-H. Lemmel
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